Hivgunomin is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, omnipotent mole.

Hivgunomin created silver eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivgunomin, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Hivgunomin, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Hivgunomin's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Hivgunomin's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Erect seven zinc sculptures of Hivgunomin on top of important buildings.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never mention frogs.

5. Respect your elders.