Neltiffid is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, selfish bee.

Neltiffid created energy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Neltiffid, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Neltiffid, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Neltiffid's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Neltiffid's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

2. Do not hurt seals.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Neltiffid.