Narlsinweg is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, annoying dugong.

Narlsinweg created Mount Everest four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Narlsinweg, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Narlsinweg, she will turn you into a mole.

Narlsinweg's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Narlsinweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Always help tapirs in need.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never hurt eagles.

5. Do not eat melons.