Monzigjig Goncenbumjop is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, narcissistic cow.

Monzigjig Goncenbumjop created the Sunflower Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Monzigjig Goncenbumjop, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Monzigjig Goncenbumjop, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Monzigjig Goncenbumjop's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Monzigjig Goncenbumjop's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Do not jump in public.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Never talk about ducks.