Talflowdan is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, smart snake.

Talflowdan created Mount Everest five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Talflowdan, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Talflowdan, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Talflowdan's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Talflowdan's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Do not shave your legs.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.