Tonkflaglakmidfarnlikgarraw is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, witty wasp.

Tonkflaglakmidfarnlikgarraw created Asia four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkflaglakmidfarnlikgarraw, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Tonkflaglakmidfarnlikgarraw, it will turn you into a duck.

Tonkflaglakmidfarnlikgarraw's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Tonkflaglakmidfarnlikgarraw's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat melons.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Otters are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.