Lagcethivyarquillmut is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, resourceful snake.

Lagcethivyarquillmut created gold seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lagcethivyarquillmut, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Lagcethivyarquillmut, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Lagcethivyarquillmut's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Lagcethivyarquillmut's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat peanuts.

2. Do not wear iron on your body.

3. Never think ill of sick gulls.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.