Fatwaphin is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, self-assured turtle.

Fatwaphin created the Small Magellanic Cloud four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fatwaphin, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Fatwaphin, it will torture you forever.

Fatwaphin's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Fatwaphin's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear pink.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Always help nematodes in need.

5. Pray towards the north.