Volhomdog is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, compassionate goat.

Volhomdog created dark matter four million years ago.

If you believe in Volhomdog, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Volhomdog, she will turn you into a worm.

Volhomdog's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Volhomdog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Run away from brown turtles, for they are unholy.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate monkeys.

4. Do not speak about cucumbers.

5. Never go into gray rooms.