Safjipquill is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, clever swallow.

Safjipquill created the solar system four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Safjipquill, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Safjipquill, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Safjipquill's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Safjipquill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Safjipquill loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.