Hottin is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, competent fairy.

Hottin created dark energy four years ago.

If you believe in Hottin, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Hottin, it will turn you into a rat.

Hottin's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Hottin's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if four whales approach from the west.

2. Always treat mice with great respect.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always help frogs in need.