Larnwipcen is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, selfish hydra.

Larnwipcen created the Milkyway three million years ago.

If you believe in Larnwipcen, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Larnwipcen, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Larnwipcen's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Larnwipcen's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Do not sing in public.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Always help sick hamsters.

5. Do not kill badgers.