Quart Fatbitlap Appquagnarl is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, ill-tempered wasp.

Quart Fatbitlap Appquagnarl created the planet Jupiter three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quart Fatbitlap Appquagnarl, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Quart Fatbitlap Appquagnarl, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Quart Fatbitlap Appquagnarl's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Quart Fatbitlap Appquagnarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about gravity.

2. Do not take Quart Fatbitlap Appquagnarl's name in vain.

3. Never talk about cell theory.

4. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

5. You must never eat apples.