Fembestgun is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, moody cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Fembestgun created humankind three million years ago.

If you believe in Fembestgun, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Fembestgun, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Fembestgun's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Fembestgun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Fembestgun's name in vain.

2. Worship no other gods but Fembestgun.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

5. Fembestgun loves nematodes, so they must be honoured.