Hascetqueeg is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, grumpy hedgehog.

Hascetqueeg created Mount Everest nine million years ago.

If you believe in Hascetqueeg, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hascetqueeg, it will ignore you.

Hascetqueeg's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Hascetqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about peas.

2. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Never wear mauve trousers.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate cats.

5. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Hascetqueeg on top of all buildings.