Hotbarnmap is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, unthoughtful weasel.

Hotbarnmap created the Sun eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hotbarnmap, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hotbarnmap, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Hotbarnmap's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Hotbarnmap's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight silicon sculptures of Hotbarnmap on top of important buildings.

2. Never write about nebulae.

3. Never wear indigo trousers.

4. Retreat if six snails approach from the south.

5. Always help snakes.