Kensatcap Sighunveg Maprulqueegjop is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, dishonourable shrew.

Kensatcap Sighunveg Maprulqueegjop created Asia nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kensatcap Sighunveg Maprulqueegjop, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Kensatcap Sighunveg Maprulqueegjop, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Kensatcap Sighunveg Maprulqueegjop's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Kensatcap Sighunveg Maprulqueegjop's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not shave your back.

5. Do not cook food in pots.