Zanhivcam Fotsagnell is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, compassionate horse.

Zanhivcam Fotsagnell created tapeworms two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zanhivcam Fotsagnell, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Zanhivcam Fotsagnell, she will jump up and down on your head.

Zanhivcam Fotsagnell's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Zanhivcam Fotsagnell's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Hide from turquoise birds for they are unholy.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Do not make images of living things.