Pancidrul is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, witless clam.

Pancidrul created Europe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Pancidrul, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Pancidrul, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Pancidrul's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Pancidrul's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Always help eagles.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Always pray immersed in water.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.