Sisvonster is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, flying zebra.

Sisvonster created Asia four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sisvonster, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Sisvonster, he will remove you from existence.

Sisvonster's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Sisvonster's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from blue geese for they are unholy.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Always look after injured mites.

4. Hide if seven horses approach from the north.

5. Respect your elders.