Yarominben is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, grumpy tortoise.

Yarominben created the planet Saturn two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarominben, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Yarominben, it will turn you into a dog.

Yarominben's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Yarominben's Holy Commandments

1. Put Yarominben first in all things.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate frogs.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Hide if seven doves approach from the east.