Gigcubflap is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, awesome mole.

Gigcubflap created the Sun four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gigcubflap, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gigcubflap, he will jump up and down on your head.

Gigcubflap's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Gigcubflap's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about badgers.

2. Never go into blue rooms.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of nickel.

4. Gigcubflap loves seals, so they must be respected.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.