Sathimpak is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, all-powerful donkey.

Sathimpak created life five million years ago.

If you believe in Sathimpak, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Sathimpak, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Sathimpak's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Sathimpak's Holy Commandments

1. Always help dogs.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not eat coconuts.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never feed apples to hamsters while wearing red ear rings.