Gonlatcap is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, deceitful mink.

Gonlatcap created the Tadpole Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gonlatcap, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gonlatcap, she will come to you in dreams.

Gonlatcap's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Gonlatcap's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat turnips.

2. Never wear magenta hats.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.