Gessgundidgupgig is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, witty badger.

Gessgundidgupgig created the Sombrero Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gessgundidgupgig, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Gessgundidgupgig, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Gessgundidgupgig's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Gessgundidgupgig's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry eagles.

2. Hide from red badgers for they are unholy.

3. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gessgundidgupgig.

5. Erect three silver sculptures of Gessgundidgupgig on top of important buildings.