Lanmabnelkop is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, witty spider.

Lanmabnelkop created viruses eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Lanmabnelkop, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Lanmabnelkop, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Lanmabnelkop's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Lanmabnelkop's Holy Commandments

1. Erect seven copper sculptures of Lanmabnelkop on top of important buildings.

2. Never think about asteroids.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Birds are unholy and should not be approached.