Nig is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, fussy dolphin.

Nig created vertebrates six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nig, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Nig, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Nig's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Nig's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never think ill of sick doves.

4. Do not hurt ducks.

5. Nig must be the most important thing in your life.