Hapvegfoddutweg is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, merciful slug.

Hapvegfoddutweg created time and space three million years ago.

If you believe in Hapvegfoddutweg, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hapvegfoddutweg, he will refuse to believe in you.

Hapvegfoddutweg's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Hapvegfoddutweg's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Hapvegfoddutweg.

4. Feed all hungry ducks.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.