Tinquarting Kadsomyatt is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, thoughtless squid.

Tinquarting Kadsomyatt created humanity six million years ago.

If you believe in Tinquarting Kadsomyatt, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tinquarting Kadsomyatt, she will destroy your home planet.

Tinquarting Kadsomyatt's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Tinquarting Kadsomyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of zinc.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. You must never eat onions.