Dobartjipquaf is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, calm fly.

Dobartjipquaf created a down quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Dobartjipquaf, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Dobartjipquaf, she will cry a lot.

Dobartjipquaf's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Dobartjipquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Run away if three mites approach from the south.

5. Never talk about fire.