Jabdonpin is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, merciless eagle.

Jabdonpin created Africa seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jabdonpin, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Jabdonpin, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Jabdonpin's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Jabdonpin's Holy Commandments

1. Always help ducks.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Always make sure there are no porpoises in a building before entering it.

4. Never think ill of sick dogs.

5. Never paint your hands purple.