Lopcepfig is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, compassionate weasel.

Lopcepfig created an up quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lopcepfig, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Lopcepfig, he will have a low opinion of you.

Lopcepfig's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Lopcepfig's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.