Hapdutnan is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, witless tortoise.

Hapdutnan created humankind four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hapdutnan, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Hapdutnan, it will ignore you.

Hapdutnan's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Hapdutnan's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the west.

2. Worship no other gods but Hapdutnan.

3. Never bounce near geese.

4. Hapdutnan loves capybaras, so they must be respected.

5. Always treat mice with great respect.