Nillkadnutt is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, vain squid.

Nillkadnutt created water two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nillkadnutt, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Nillkadnutt, he will have a low opinion of you.

Nillkadnutt's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Nillkadnutt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. You must pray to Nillkadnutt eight times a day.

3. Never eat figs.

4. Always help sick swans.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.