Hatvagceb is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, sage bat.

Hatvagceb created dark matter two million years ago.

If you believe in Hatvagceb, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Hatvagceb, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Hatvagceb's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Hatvagceb's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Always help geese.

4. Do not jump in public.

5. Always help capybaras in need.