Handub is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, fast penguin.

Handub created the Sombrero Galaxy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Handub, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Handub, he will make you grow a tail.

Handub's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Handub's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Handub.

2. Never sit near foxes.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never paint your hands mauve.

5. Do not make images of living things.