Talflamrill is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, self-confident goat.

Talflamrill created life eight million years ago.

If you believe in Talflamrill, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Talflamrill, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Talflamrill's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Talflamrill's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if nine manatees approach from the west.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not dye your hair pink.