Hubtarphin is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, charitable finch.

Hubtarphin created tapeworms nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hubtarphin, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Hubtarphin, he will strike you with lightening.

Hubtarphin's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Hubtarphin's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Hide from pink badgers for they are unholy.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Hubtarphin.

4. Do not hurt turtles.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.