Arpbafsin is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, humorless fly.

Arpbafsin created the Virgo Supercluster eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arpbafsin, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Arpbafsin, he will manifest in front of you.

Arpbafsin's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Arpbafsin's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if four cats approach from the east.

2. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Arpbafsin on top of all buildings.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate eagles.

4. Feed all hungry gulls.

5. Never paint your neck cyan.