Baststafveen is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, egotistical otter.

Baststafveen created humanity seven million years ago.

If you believe in Baststafveen, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Baststafveen, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Baststafveen's most sacred site is Nanjie in China.

Baststafveen's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at asteroids.

2. Never run in the presence of frogs.

3. Never jump in holy places.

4. Never paint your chest purple.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.