Vegsaffembonpagflowcin is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, slow armadillo.

Vegsaffembonpagflowcin created everything that exists six billion years ago.

If you believe in Vegsaffembonpagflowcin, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Vegsaffembonpagflowcin, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Vegsaffembonpagflowcin's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Vegsaffembonpagflowcin's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate mice.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. You must pray to Vegsaffembonpagflowcin nine times a day.