Haklamcabvad is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, flying deer.

Haklamcabvad created viruses four million years ago.

If you believe in Haklamcabvad, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Haklamcabvad, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Haklamcabvad's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Haklamcabvad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not jump in public.

2. Never talk about cell theory.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate otters.

4. Retreat if five badgers approach from the west.

5. Never write about amino acids.