Timzen is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, annoying jaguar.

Timzen created humankind four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Timzen, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Timzen, he will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Timzen's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Timzen's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Timzen.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never jump near shrews.