Yarpjiglinflamfem Kincidtaf is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, ruthless lobster.

Yarpjiglinflamfem Kincidtaf created Africa five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarpjiglinflamfem Kincidtaf, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Yarpjiglinflamfem Kincidtaf, she will not invite you to parties.

Yarpjiglinflamfem Kincidtaf's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Yarpjiglinflamfem Kincidtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Yarpjiglinflamfem Kincidtaf must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Always obey Yarpjiglinflamfem Kincidtaf's priests.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never talk about fire.