Fasominteen is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, moody dugong.

Fasominteen created a down quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fasominteen, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Fasominteen, it will torture you forever.

Fasominteen's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Fasominteen's Holy Commandments

1. Fasominteen loves eagles, so they must be respected.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Fasominteen.

3. Erect a large copper sculpture of Fasominteen on top of all buildings.

4. Always treat snakes with great respect.

5. Do not commit murder.