Barnlamtof is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, amazing hippopotamus.

Barnlamtof created tapeworms two billion years ago.

If you believe in Barnlamtof, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Barnlamtof, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Barnlamtof's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Barnlamtof's Holy Commandments

1. Always help hamsters.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never think about asteroids.

4. Never talk about rats.

5. Never laugh in the presence of snakes.