Nuttmadquam is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, conceited gerbil.

Nuttmadquam created the Cigar Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nuttmadquam, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Nuttmadquam, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Nuttmadquam's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Nuttmadquam's Holy Commandments

1. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

2. Do not hurt eagles.

3. Never look at planets.

4. Always make sure there are no great tits in a room before entering it.

5. Erect seven aluminium sculptures of Nuttmadquam on top of important buildings.