Duddotpagtanjam is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, competent pigeon.

Duddotpagtanjam created humankind seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Duddotpagtanjam, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Duddotpagtanjam, he will boil you in a big pot.

Duddotpagtanjam's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Duddotpagtanjam's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. You must pray to Duddotpagtanjam five times a day.

3. Never think ill of sick whales.

4. Put Duddotpagtanjam first in all things.

5. Never talk about gravity.