Beptiglam is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, unthinking snail.

Beptiglam created dark energy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Beptiglam, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Beptiglam, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Beptiglam's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Beptiglam's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.