Motjarnquim is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely large, self-assured grasshopper.

Motjarnquim created an atom seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Motjarnquim, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Motjarnquim, it will remove you from existence.

Motjarnquim's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Motjarnquim's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about amino acids.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Never mention badgers.

4. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.